You just have to remember
by AngelaStoneWood
Summary: Krowell-niisan is very sick and the doctor said that he won't stay alive very long. How will I tell that to Tiashe? (Request-fic from MysteryPT, Kanon's PoV)


**A/N: Hello! This is a very absurd request-fic from MysteryPT! I'm really sorry for the massive lateness and absurdity... (And tragedy, I did not hold back at all...) Hopefully you like it, MysteryPT-san**

**Comments and reviews are welcome from everyone! I'll also take requests but it can take me over 3 months to finish one if I get too much of them (because I have school and we are doing all kinds of big projects there...)**

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He was panting. He was panting so hardly even though he was just lying on the sofa. He was very sick and I couldn't help him at all. I was just keeping an eye on his condition and changing the cold rug on his forehead from time to time. Little Tiashe was also staying with him while having a worried look on his face. Even though he was just three years old, he seemed to know perfectly that something was wrong with his precious uncle. Tiashe patted his head gently and his breathing got a bit steadier. I changed the cool cloth again but he was still far away in his dreamy world.

"Is he any better?" my oldest adaptive brother, Krom, asked.

"No", I said and shook my head. Krom walked next to me and crouched down.

"Why didn't uncle Krowell answer when I asked 'what's wrong'?" Tiashe asked and tried climbing on Krom's lap. "Is he asleep?"

"Uncle Krowell is a little ill, Tiashe", Krom said gently. "He'll probably be better tomorrow. Then you can play with him and Kanon-chan again."

"Okay!" Tiashe smiled. "I'll go tell that to mommy!"

"…What is his real condition?" Krom asked after Tiashe had toddled away.

"The doctor said that it will be a miracle if he makes it through the night", I whispered.

"So it was already that bad", Krom said sadly and ruffled my hair. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and let my emotionless mask drop away. My tears started falling madly from my eyes with no end at all. When Tiashe toddled back, he saw me crying and looked at me with a worried look.

"Why are you crying, Kanon-neechan?" he asked. "Are you hurt somewhere?"

"Yes", I sniffled and clutched my chest. Tiashe toddled near me and hugged me with his tiny hands. He leaned his head on my chest and I also embraced him. Krom hugged us both and I buried my face into his shirt. I cried and cried with no plan to end it anytime in future. I heard somebody sitting down next to us and I heard Tiashe's mother's voice talking to me.

"It will be alright, Kanon-chan", she said. "We'll manage somehow…"

"He won't probably make it through the night, Millea", Krom whispered with bitterness in his gentle voice. "We can't do anything anymore…"

"I'm so sorry", Millea whispered. "I had hoped that he would manage after all…" She gently stroked my hair and hummed the song she always sang to Tiashe when he was upset or sad. After some time she stopped humming and lifted Tiashe up. She told Krom that she was going to call Kreuz so that he could see Krowell one last time. Krom stayed with me and tried to calm me down. I was still hiccupping onto his shirt and he rubbed my back. Suddenly he stood up and said:

"I'll be back in few minutes. Please look after Krowell."

I nodded and looked behind him when he left the room. Suddenly I heard muffled sobs and I looked at Krowell. He had woken up and he was shaking like a little child as he cried. I went near him and stroked his hair. He looked at me with tears on his eyes.

"Did you have a nightmare?" I asked as gently as I could. My voice shook when I saw his pale face looking at me. He nodded slowly and grabbed my hand.

"I'm going to die… Right?" he asked quietly. "Krom-niisan said so when he was asleep… It's true, right?"

I couldn't answer. I just didn't want to tell my dear brother the truth. He had always been afraid of death because of his constant illnesses. Somehow he had always known that he would be the first one to die from us four. Even now he was fighting against the death but the doctor had crushed down his willpower with just few words. I wanted to hurt the doctor in the same way he had hurt us and my beloved Krowell.

"Please tell me", Krowell said and I heard how his voice shook. "I'm going to die, right?"

I nodded slowly. I couldn't say anything because there was a huge lump in my throat. I suddenly felt Krowell's arms wrapping around me. I also realized that he was crying silently onto my shirt. I helped him to sit up and hugged him again.

"It's alright", I whispered. "I'll find a way to save you… somehow…"

Krowell just shook there and tried to stop crying before Krom would come back. Suddenly our shoulders jolted up when we heard the sound of the front door banging. We both heard Kreuz's worried voice and soon we saw him running into the room. He looked at us with disbelief clear on his face. After that he suddenly hugged both of us. He shook violently and suddenly I just realized how hurt he must have been all the time. He had always hoped that Krowell would stay alive even though his illnesses were so bad at times. With no second thought I wrapped my left arm around him.

"It's alright", I whispered. "We'll manage somehow, right?"

"Every time I prayed", Kreuz whispered. "Every time I prayed I asked for only two things… I only asked for Krowell's illnesses to go away…Was it really that much?"

"It wasn't too much", Krowell said quietly and tried to smile. "This just can't be cured. I'm sure that God made it that way…"

"Then why did you get it?" I asked suddenly.

"Maybe I did something bad in my previous life", Krowell whispered. Kreuz was still trembling and I was sure that Krowell was desperately thinking a way to comfort our air-headed older brother.

"Don't worry", I said suddenly. "I'm very sure that Krowell is going to be reborn here as someone who will always follow you or something like that."

"Like a baby bird would follow its mother", Krowell said and smiled. "I'm sure that something like that will happen."

Suddenly Krom walked into the room. He whispered something to Kreuz in Croatian which was their family language. I couldn't understand a word of Croatian but from Krom's tone I could understand that he was saying something very serious. Kreuz stood up and followed Krom to the living room.

"…What did he say?" I asked as soon as the door had been closed.

"Something about Millea having something to tell to them and that we should be left alone", Krowell said. "I couldn't hear it so well…"

"It's alright", I said with a much gentler tone. "Do you really believe in God?"

"Not at all", Krowell said. "But I know that Kreuz-niisan believes in God so I lied to him. It's better that way, right? He'll be happy that way."

"Aren't you scared?" I asked. That was the thing that broke Krowell. Of course I should have known how scared he was but I still asked him. He started crying hysterically and I wrapped my arms around him. I hummed an old children song for him so that he would calm down a bit. When he had calmed down enough to let go of me, Tiashe toddled inside the room.

"Father said that I can sleep with you two this night!" he said cutely. I looked at him and realized that it was Krom's way of letting his son have the last farewell to Krowell. My eyes filled with tears but I wiped them away before Tiashe could see them. I smiled sadly and patted his head. I stood up and said:

"I'll get some food for us to eat. You should eat something too, Krowell."

Krowell nodded quietly and I went to the kitchen to get some food for us. I took some salad and some sushi that Millea had made for Krowell since he would throw up anything else. I also took a bucket in case that Krowell would start feeling worse. I went back to the room where Krowell and Tiashe were and I saw them looking at some old photos. I placed the plates on the desk of the room and the bucket onto the floor. I sat on the sofa where Krowell was sitting with Teito on his lap.

"This was when we went to that amusement park", Krowell said and smiled. "Do you remember that?"

Tiashe wrinkled his nose in attempt to remember the day in amusement park but in the end he just shook his head and became sad. I smiled at those two and hugged them.

"It's alright, Tiashe", I said. "You were so small back then…"

"But I was three!" Tiashe protested. "It's not small!"

"You're right", Krowell smiled and coughed. "Three is not little…"

"Hey, what's this picture?" Tiashe asked cutely and pointed at a photo of me sleeping.

"This was when Kanon had had that overnight trip with her class", Krowell said while smiling. "She fell asleep as soon as Krom hugged her."

"But why is there a photo of me sleeping?" I asked.

"It's because Krom thought that you were so cute", Krowell smiled. "He just had to get a photo of that."

"FOOD!" Tiashe suddenly exclaimed. "I'm hungry! Let's eat!"

I smiled and took the sushi and salad I had carried for us. I put some sushi and salad on a plate and gave it to Tiashe. I gave another plate to Krowell and took some sushi for myself too. Tiashe started gobbling up his meal as soon as I gave it to him and I just had to laugh. He was so cute when he was like that. Krowell was eating too but he was much slower than Tiashe. He always swallowed everything very carefully. That was one of the effects of his illnesses. Suddenly Krowell's face went white and he looked like he would faint anytime. I put Tiashe on the floor and let Krowell lie down.

"What's wrong with uncle Krowell?" Tiashe asked and started crying. "Why is he like that?"

"Uncle Krowell is ill", I said and hugged Tiashe. "We need to take care of him so that he'll get better."

"What if he doesn't get better?" Tiashe asked.

"He will", I whispered even though the words almost stopped in my throat. "I promise that he will be alright."

Krowell looked like he would be falling into the torment of his fevers again. He was already panting and sweating. I couldn't help but let my tears fall again. I knew that the doctor had been right about Krowell not being able to stay alive through the night but I had still wanted to lie to myself. I had wanted to tell myself that my dear adaptive brother would be able to play with me and Tiashe again. I hugged Tiashe very tightly before asking him to go get a quilt for Krowell.

"Should we sing something to uncle Krowell?" Tiashe asked after he had gotten the quilt and I'd put it on Krowell's sleeping body.

"Why?" I asked.

"Maybe he'll be able to find his way back home that way?" Tiashe said and smiled.

I was confused when I looked at Tiashe. I couldn't understand him at all. Tiashe smiled and started explaining.

"Mother told me that in some countries people used to sing to those who are very ill so that their soul won't go away."

I smiled at Tiashe and started singing a very old gypsy song that was believed to heal any wound that the listeners might have. Krowell seemed to calm down a bit when he listened to my song. I really hoped that my song would be able to save him from his illness. Tiashe tried to sing with me but he failed and pouted very cutely. When my song ended, Tiashe yawned and looked like he would fall asleep at any second.

"Should we go sleep too, Tiashe?" I asked. "We can talk to Krowell-niisan tomorrow too."

"Okay!" Tiashe said and smiled. He toddled to his mattress while I laid down on mine. I hummed silently until I could hear Tiashe's slow and steady breathing tell that he was fast asleep. Then I turned to Krowell and put my hand on his forehead. It was burning. I went to get a cool cloth to put on his forehead and almost bumped into Krom. I tried to walk away but he took my hand before I could get very far.

"Is Tiashe okay?" he asked. He looked like he would have been very worried for his son.

"He is alright", I smiled. "He's already sleeping. I'm just getting a cold cloth for Krowell."

Krom looked at me with a sad expression. He followed me to the room where Krowell and Tiashe were both sleeping. They slept very peacefully and for a second I hoped that the doctor had been wrong about Krowell.

_He'll be alright_, I thought. _The doctor just made a mistake. Tomorrow he'll be up and chasing Tiashe again._

Krom laughed a bit at Tiashe when the latter started mumbling something about a giant bunny that was giving him candy. Krom said something in Croatian to Tiashe and Tiashe lowered his voice a bit. I placed the cold cloth on Krowell's forehead and he looked even more peaceful.

"You should get some sleep too, Kanon", Krom said. "I'll watch Krowell while you sleep."

I nodded and lied down on my futon. I closed my eyes and soon my dream world embraced me.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of somebody crying silently and feet stomping on the floor. Tiashe had been moved to my futon while we had been sleeping. I couldn't see Krowell anywhere and suddenly I really realized that the doctor had been right. I wouldn't see Krowell anymore. He wouldn't be next to me while I was doing my homework or when Tiashe was trying to win the annual snowball fights. He would be gone for good and no one of us would ever see him again. I tried to calm down so I wouldn't wake Tiashe up but the effort was very futile since Tiashe had also woken up to the sound of feet stomping on our floor.

"What is it, Kanon-neechan?" he asked while he rubbed his left eye with his tiny fist. "Where did uncle Krowell go?"

I couldn't answer. I just couldn't. Tiashe would never see his beloved uncle again. I just couldn't say that to him. Fortunately for me, Krom walked next to us and took Tiashe on his lap.

"Tiashe", Krom said with a neutral expression. "You can't meet uncle Krowell anymore. He fell asleep and he won't be able to wake up anymore."

"Why?" Tiashe asked. "Why did he fall asleep?"

"He was so sick", I mumbled. "He was too sick and that made him fall asleep."

"But I still want to see him", Tiashe sobbed. "I want to see uncle Krowell again."

"You can't see him anymore", I said and hugged him. "You have to remember everything you did with your beloved uncle."

_You just have to remember._

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